Thoughts

It’s been over a year, so many things happened and none of them seemed to spark a wish of expressing myself until you came around.  I have dealt with a player when I was probably in the same place, playing. I have been through a past due relationship reconciliation and the obvious break up. It was no longer love it was a wish of having someone or anyone.  And right after that moment, when I felt I was free and released of a 3 year curse, you showed up. It was unexpected and not at first sight, it was supposed to be just a kiss in one particular night. You kept pressing and I kept falling. I never had someone so sweet and I have definitely never been this sweet. You see, when I think of myself I picture a woman who closes up and has a hard time in believing anything or anyone; a woman so rational that I can be seen as rude sometimes; a woman so cold to certain “girly” stereotyped emotions that I cannot understand how other women can entertain themselves with so much drama. I have seen through the truth and ignored my emotional side all along, but you did something I cannot explain. You made me open up and believe in everything you said blindly. I have supported the distance and not a part of me got bored. I was in the route to believe this was it, that cliché of when you let go life rewards you with what you always wanted. I had the impression this was one of those crazy stories that could only happen in fiction, but it happened to me. It was the interests, the similarities, the care, the honesty, how you can look into my eyes and make my soul feel naked, how a word, a smile, and your presence could make my heart warm and make me feel so happy. It’s not a passionate connection of those you feel like ripping off the other’s clothes. It’s a warm, inviting and calm breeze that just feels you in and makes you wish it will never end. I cannot think of how I would be mistaken or played like a fool that way, it seems so clear and it is all I see. So why can no one else believe this can go right? I cannot decide if these are only bad vibes trying to influence my mind or if I’m the only blind.